Idomus bendras poziuris susiformuoja kai perskaitai visa dialoga nuo padzios iki paskutinio komentaro, bet pastebaju tendencija kalbeti tik apie stipru zmogu, o tema juk nera tik zmogaus stiprybe.Joje kalbama apie kazka daugiau ko manau zodziais isreiksti darosi sunku kai susimastai kas tai per reiskinys. Sakai striprus zmogus sukuria nuotaika, aplinkybes,kad palengvintu aplinkiniu "silpnesniu" gyvenima, ji pagrazintu, suteiktu prasme (galbut…?!), bet manau kad mes gydome vieni kitus ir budami silpni, pazeidziami. Tada mes daug ka vertiname taip kaip reikia, susimastome kodel anksciau as to ar ano nemaciau…
Manyciau kad stiprybe slypi frazeje:"isgyventa patirtis"! Tas stiprus,k kuris jau tai praejo, patyre, zino kuo tai gali ir/ar baigtis. Zinojimas yra stiprybe, taip pat stiprybe yra pasitikejimas ir supratimas, mokejimais ieiti i kito asmens pozicija. Buk salia ir palaikyk, buk tiesiog zmogumi, ir tave pavadins stirpiu, ir tau dekos uz tai…
As dar ka norejau pridurti, kad is tikruju taip ir yra gyvenime, kad stipresni traukia silpnuosius. Gyvenimas, gamta, pasaulis savaime susiklostes taip, kad paklustame tiems kuo tikime. As mokausi is kazko, kazkas is manes. Protingas zino, kad visai negeda paklusti arba atsiduoti tam, kuo tiki arba pasitiki. Zmogus iesko kitame zmoguje to, ko jam truksta. Stipriu - reiskias buti prieinamu silpnesniam. O jei dar smulkiau - tiesiog buti jam pakanciam…
is tikruju idomi diskusija pas jus gavosi.ir labai daug naujo suzinojau.
O kas yra tas stiprus zmogus mano manymu?ir ar jis teikia stiprybes mums?
nezinau…
bet paziurekim…
tevai vaiko akyse visuomet buvo stipriais ir valingais zmonemis.ir kai vaikas nukrenta,tevai neguodzia jo,neleidzia but silpnu,o su tvirtu balsu sako:kelkis ir eik toliau.ir mes keldavomes,kad ir kaip skaudetu.ir ejome toliau.krisdavome ir kelemes dar simtus,tukstancius kartu,bet po kiekvieno griuvimo mums vis maziau skaudedavo,vis lengviau buvo priverst save eit.
stiprus zmogus yra tas,kuris moka keltis visuomet,kai griuna.moka nuslopint skausma,kai skauda.moka itikint,kad imanoma viskas,jeigu tik tu pats save tuo itikinsi.
ir kai toks stiprus zmogus tau sako"kelkis ir eik",tu atsikelsi.tu pajusi jo stiprybe ir nora save valdyti,valdyti savo jausmus ir vidine ramybe.
tai visiskai nereiskia apie jo abejinguma tavo atzvilgiu.tai sako apie jo nora suteikt tau nors trupineli tos palaimos,kai gali but stiprus ir po kiekvieno griuvimo didziuotis savim,kad galejai atsikelt…
Tipiškiausias zombio paveikslas.
Penktoje klasėje aš tokius rašinius ir rašydavau. Ir tai dėl to, jog literatūrą man dėstė panelė Deklaratyvusis Gėris.
na as galiu pasakyti, kad vieni zmones yra kupini energijos, o kiti ne. tie kurie yra optimistai ir kupini energijos tikrai gali duoti daug ka tiems zmonems , kuriems truksta padrasinimo, tarsi jiems perduoti savo energija.
Atsiprašau, kad angliškai, bet gal bus įdomu ir jums
Pursuing Relationships
© Robert Rabbin
(Excerpted from The Sacred Hub
Crossing Press)
We often enter relationships without knowing our own Self, hoping that another person will provide what we think we don’t already have.
We create an image of ourselves that reflects our incompleteness, and we hold out that image to another person. They, in turn, hold out their image to us. The relationship begins, but it is a relationship of two images, two objects, two sets of desires. This kind of relationship ends in disappointment because it is not authentic. We might blame some discrepancy of compatibility or life purpose, but, in reality, the disappointment is that neither has been touched. Only the images are touched. This collision of images creates the patterns in our relationships, and it is the reason we often feel that we come to the same end, only with different people.
What is our motive for pursuing relationships? Is it to provide security Š financial, emotional, psychological? Is it to mitigate loneliness or boredom? Is it to dramatize our own need to dominate and control. Is it to animate deep-seated fantasies and imaginings? Is there a strong sexual urge that demands consummation without regard to the consequences?
When we look at another person, what do we see? Do we see only an object to satisfy our unexamined needs, desires, and fantasies? And if we say that we do see another person, are we seeing only the facade of their projected imagination and cravings?
We cannot pursue other people as prey. In doing so, there is always deception and sadness. The unexamined desires behind "pursuing" relationships are never fulfilled.
There are some people with whom we experience an instant magnetism that is overwhelming. We feel deep currents of attraction and love. We immediately channel this energy of attraction into the trap of our fantasies. Think how often our response to attraction is, This is the one! We are not meant to possess the object of our love, to imprison it in our wanting. Only in freedom is there love. When we experience love with someone, it is to deepen our capacity for love.
We must be honest about our motives for "pursuing" relationships. If we hope that another person will fill us with what we don’t already have, we are sowing the seeds of attachment and dependency. First, we have to know what we are missing; we have to know what it is that we want another person to fulfill for us. Once we see this clearly, we might also see that it is our responsibility to fulfill ourselves with our own inner resources of being and Self-knowing. Having done this, we can bring this fullness to every person we meet. We can meet others with openness, with patience, with discernment. This openness of being allows us to truly discover another person’s essence, to touch and be touched deeply, without desperation, without need.
If we are more restrained, initially, we can allow the proper unfolding of a relationship. We won’t be bothered by the hungry urgency of our projected images. We can enjoy being together with others in the spirit of freedom. We can let things develop. As we move in the world, without desperation, without hunger, we will meet many people. We will have many relationships, some of which might last for a day, others deep and enduring.
Let people enter your life freely, with ease and happiness and respect. Don’t treat them as objects, but discover them with openness and curiosity. Don’t become agitated and tense. Don’t grab, don’t hold on. Stay balanced in your own Self.
We don’t have to ruin each other over and over again, as we do when we try to lure another into the trap of our inner emptiness. Pursue your own Self, and then let everything else pursue you.
© 1996 Robert Rabbin