Kas supranta angliskai
What a woman says:
This place is a mess! C’mon, you and I need to clean up, Your stuff is
lying on the floor and you’ll have no clothes to wear, if we don’t do
laundry right now!
What a man hears:
blah, blah, blah, blah, C’MON
blah, blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I
blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR
blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES
blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW
Joe and Tim are talking about their favorite ways to have sex.
Joe: What’s your favorite way to bliamba your wife?
Tim: Rodeo style.
Joe: (a pause) Well, what’s rodeo style?
Tim: Rodeo style is when you’re bliambaing your wife doggie style,
and just when she’s about to cum, you tell her that her sister
likes it this way, and then try to ride her for 8 seconds.
A man is in a hotel lobby and wants to ask the clerk a question.
As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into
a woman beside him and his elbow pokes her in the breast. They
are both quite startled.
The man turns to her and says, "Ma’am, if your heart is as soft
as your breast, I know you’ll forgive me."
She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I’m in
room 436."
Kaip kas supranta 
Aha, man irgi paskutinis geras
Čia papildimas:
A man was sleeping next to his wife. He rolled over and started rubbing
her arm up and down. She told him sleepily, "Not tonight, honey. I have a
gynocoligist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The man rolls
back over feeling quite dejected. Then he rolls back over to her and asks,
"Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow, too?"
How are a bungy jumping and a hooker alike?
They both last about 20 minutes, they both cost about $150, and if the
rubber breaks your screwed.
psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three
young mothers and their small children. "You all have
obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating.
You’ve even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it
manifests itself in your child’s name, Penny."
At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by
the hand and whispered, "Come on, dic~k,let’s go."
A 47 year-old lady gets a facelift. It turns out very well and
she enjoys showing off her new look. She goes to the newsstand
and asks the man, ‘‘Sir, how old do you think I am’’? The man
replies ‘‘You’re 30, right?’’ She says ‘‘No, I’m 47, but nice
try.’’ The next day, she goes to McDonald’s. She orders her
lunch and asks the young man at the counter, ‘‘How old do you
think I am?’’ The man replies, ‘‘You’re 37, right?’’ The lady
says ‘‘No, I’m 47, but good guess.’’ After lunch, she gets on
the bus and she asks an 85-year-old man how old she is. He
replies ‘‘Lady, I can tell how old any woman is by sticking my
hand down her panties.’’ So, quietly and quickly, she lets him
do so. He thinks a moment and announces, ‘‘You’re 47!’’ The
lady, astonished, asks, ‘‘How did you know?’’ The old man
replies ‘‘I was standing right behind you at McDonald’s.’’
Vel paskutinis
jo, man patiko
Preaty good
Be komentaru
Na taip, abu paskutiniai .
Beje, gerai, kad neišvertei į lietuvių kalbą, o tai pusė būtų seni 
.
Pirma ir antra zhinojau…bet vis viena zjb
papildymas - excellent
:-0:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
Neblogai man pavyzdziui patiko 
paskutinis tai isvis zjb
jei gu jau taip patiko papildymas tai prasom dar:
A True Senior Moment
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and
after eating, the wives left the table and went into the
kitchen. The two elderly gentlemen were talking, and one said,
"Last night we went out to a new restaurant, and it was really
great. I would recommend it very highly."
The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"
The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the
name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know…
the one that is red and has thorns."
"Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes," the man said and then he turned toward the kitchen and
yelled, "Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to
last night?"
Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for
a great price, but its missing a seal, so whenever it rains he
has to smear Vaseline over the spot where the seal should be.
Anyway, his girlfriend is having him over for dinner to meet her
parents. He drives his new bike to her house, where she is
outside waiting for him. "No matter what happens at dinner
tonight, don’t say a word," She tells him," Our family had a
fight a while ago about doing dishes. We haven’t done any since,
but the first person to speak at dinner has to do them."
Steve sits down for dinner and it is just how she described it.
Dishes are piled up to the ceiling in the kitchen, and nobody is
saying a word. So Steve decides to have a little fun. He grabs
his girlfriend throws her on the table and drills her in front
of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is
obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down,
but no one says a word.
A few minutes later he grabs her mom throws her on the table and
does a repeat performance. Now his girlfriend is furious, her
dad is boiling, and her mother a little happier. But still there
is complete silence at the table.
All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts
to rain. Steve remembers his motorcycle. He jumps up and grabs
his jar of Vaseline. Upon witnessing this, his girlfriend’s
father backs away from the table and screams, "OKAY, ENOUGH
ALREADY. I’LL DO THE bliambaING DISHES!!"
geras i kelk i EF kluba 
There was this businessman who was getting ready to go on a long
business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort, so he
thought he’d try to get her something to keep her occupied while
he was gone, because he didn’t much like the idea of her
screwing someone else. So he went to a store that sold sex toys
and started looking around. He thought about a life-sized sex
doll, but that was too close to another man for him.
He was browsing through the dildos, looking for something
special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man
behind the counter. He explained his situation. The old man
said, "Well, I don’t really know of anything that will do the
trick. We have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on,
but I don’t know of anything that will keep her occupied for
weeks, except – " and he stopped.
"Except what?" the man asked.
"Nothing, nothing."
"C’mon, tell me! I need something!"
"Well, sir, I don’t usually mention this, but there is the
‘voodoo pimp….’"
"So what’s up with this voodoo pimp…?" he asked.
The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old
wooden box, carved with strange symbols. He opened it, and there
lay a very ordinary-looking dildo. The businessman laughed, and
said "Big bliambaing deal. It looks like every other dildo in this
shop!"
The old man replied, "But you haven’t seen what it’ll do yet."
He pointed to a door and said "Voodoo pimp…, the door." The
voodoo pimp… rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and
started screwing the keyhole. The whole door shook with the
vibrations, and a crack developed down the middle. Before the
door could split, the old man said "Voodoo pimp…, get back in
your box!" The voodoo pimp… stopped, floated back to the box and
lay there, quiescent once more.
"I’ll take it!" said the businessman.
The old man resisted, saying it wasn’t for sale, but he finally
surrendered to $700 in cash. The guy took it home to his wife,
told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all she had
to do was say "Voodoo pimp…, my pussy." He left for his trip
satisfied that things would be fine while he was gone.
After he’d been gone a few days, the wife was unbearably horny.
She thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her,
but then she remembered the voodoo pimp…. She got it out, and
said "Voodoo pimp…, my pussy!" The voodoo pimp… shot to her crotch
and started pumping. It was great, like nothing she’d ever
experienced before. After three orgasms, she decided she’d had
enough, and tried to pull it out, but it was stuck in her, still
thrusting. She tried and tried to get it out, but nothing
worked. Her husband had forgot to tell her how to shut it off.
So she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help.
She put her clothes on, got in the car and started to drive to
the hospital, quivering with every thrust of the dildo. On the
way, another orgasm nearly made her swerve off the road, and she
was pulled over by a policeman. He asked for her license, and
then asked how much she’d had to drink.
Gasping and twitching, she explained that she hadn’t been
drinking, but that a voodoo pimp… was stuck in her pussy, and
wouldn’t stop screwing. The officer looked at her for a second,
and then said "Yea, right. Voodoo pimp…, my ass!"
Three guys (Mike, Kyle, and John) heard about a cliff. The
rumor was that if you jump off it and say something, whatever
you say, you land in safely. Mike, Kyle, and John go to the
cliff. Mike jumps and yells, "gold!!"
He lands safely in gold and takes it all home. Klye jumps and
yells, "1000 beautiful, horny, naked girls!!" He lands in the
women and leaves. John trips and yells, "oh, crap!!" John lands
in a big pile of poop and leaves to go take a shower.