Sharing jokes - JOKES # 1
The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came.
Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down.
Well the teacher couldn’t figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was.
“It’s a period” reported Johnnie.
“Well I can see that” she said. “but what is so exciting about a period.” “Damned if I know” said Johnnie, “but this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted and the man next door shot himself.” 
LOL
Patient: I’m in a hospital! Why am I in here?
Doctor: You’ve had an accident involving a bus.
Patient: What happened?
Doctor: Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?
Patient: Give me the bad news first.
Doctor: Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them.
Patient: That’s terrible! What’s the good news?
Doctor: There’s a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your slippers.
You all are so good at English, my English is too poor to be here
This guy met a woman at a bar and she took him home to have sex. Afterwards when he is getting dressed, he sees a picture of some guy on her dresser.
He asks her who the picture is of and she replies, “Don’t worry about it.”
He then says, "Well is that your husband?"
She says that it is not.
"Well, is that your boyfriend?"
Again she says no.
The guy then says, "Well then, who the hell is it?"
She replies, "It was me before my operation."
Top Ten Reasons Why The Computer Industry Is Finally Opening Up To Women
- It’s easier for a woman to “turn on” a computer
- Women don’t have motherboard fixations.
- Women are much better at FDISK-ing a hard drive
- When lost on the Internet, women are willing to ask for directions.
- Women can communicate gossip and rumors quicker than the fastest modem.
- Only women (I think) can marry Bill Gates.
- Women see a 14 inch monitor they think it’s a 14 incher and not a 20.
- Women have bigger SMART drives.
- Women don’t think with their joysticks.
- Women actually read installation manuals.
A man walked into a supermarket with his zipper down, and his fly wide open. A lady cashier walked up to him and said, "Your barracks door is open." This is not a phrase men normally use, so he went on his way looking a bit puzzled. When he was about done shopping, a man came up and said, "Your fly is open."
He zipped up and finished his shopping, and remembering what the cashier had told him, finally understood. He then intentionally got in the line to check out where the lady was that told him about his "barracks door."
He was planning to have a little fun with her. When he reached her counter he said, “When you saw my barracks door open did you see a soldier standing in there at attention?” The lady thought for a moment and said, “No, no I didn’t. All I saw was a disabled veteran sitting on two duffel bags.”
Covaxe 
I’m laughing out loud in the office and everybody looks at me furiously its good to have a big laugh on glumy monday
A guy is in a bar looking glum. The bartender asks why he is so sad. The guy replies, "My wife and I had a big argument and she swore she would not talk to me for a month!"
The bartender grins and says, “Well, (tee-he) what’s so
bad about that?”
The glum guy says, “The 30 days are up today.”
Besides, I am glad I’ve made you laugh there is one more 
God’s Letter
A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened.
Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, USA, they decided to send it to President Bush.
The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill.
President Bush thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank you note to God, which read:
Dear God,
Thank you very much for sending the money, however, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington D.C. and, as usual, those crooks deducted $95.00.
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is
driving down the same road. As they pass each other the woman
leans out the window and yells, "PIG!!"
The man immediately leans out his window and replies, "B.I.T.C.H."
They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next
corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.
how do you spell FIAT?
Fix It Again Tony
how do you spell FORD
Fix Or Repair Daily
that’s all i know
There a short joke:
Invitation to Big Bomb party on Saturday night in World Trade Center with Dj BinLaden including his super hit “It Wasn’t Me” supported by America Airlines!
somehow this joke wasn’t funny for me 
More of the same kind
HONDA - Had One, Never Did Again
SAAB - Swedish Automobiles Always Break
FORD - Fast Only Rolling Downhill
VOLVO - Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
DODGE - Darn Old Dirty Gas Eater
VW - Virtually Worthless
BMW - Brutal Money Waster/Be My Wife
FIAT - Failed Italian Automotive Technology
It’s wise to remember how easily this wonderful technology can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences.
Consider the case of one man who left the snow-filled streets of his town a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.
When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a
quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory.
Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
PS. Sure is hot down here.
A little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair.
She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then asked, "Momma, how come all of grandma’s hairs are white?
The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest,
said, "It was a good idea of yours to replace the first four pews
with plush bucket theatre seats, because the front of
the church now fills first."
The young priest nodded and the elderly priest continued, “And
you told me a little more beat to the music would bring
young people back to church, so I supported you when you
brought in that rock 'n roll choir. We are packed
to the balcony.”
"Thank you, Father," answered the young priest, "I am
pleased you are open to the new ideas of youth."
“Well”, said the elderly priest, “I’m afraid you’ve gone
too far with the drive-thru Confessional.”
But Father," protested the young priest. "My confessions
have nearly doubled since I began that!
I know, my son," replied the old man. "But that flashing
neon sign, “Toot 'n Tell or Go to Hell”, can’t stay on
the church roof!
I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it…
A young boy answered the phone in a whisper "Hello?"
The man at the other end asked to speak to his father. The boy replied in a whispher “He can’t come to the phone.”
The man then asked to speak to his mother. He again whispered “She’s busy.
She can’t come to the phone either.”
The man became confused and asked if anyone else was at the house with the
boy. “Yes,” he wispered. “The police and the firemen are here too.” When the man asked to speak to one of them, hoping to finally get an adult on the phone to find out what was going on, the boy again whispered “They’re busy too. They can’t come to the phone either.”
Finally the man asked the boy what his father, his mother, the police and
the fire department were so busy doing that they could not come to the
phone. The boy whispered “They’re looking for me.”
yes i agree with u , its a pitty that our english is not good,but i have no oportunity to talk with somebody, cause i did not have friends from foreign countries and… for exaple flyer lives in ireland, so its easy for fim, to write so long jokes…
to fleyr :be our teacher…D